I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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