hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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