this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Let's get the cat blown out
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
