Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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