there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
