so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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