Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We need to rekindle our bromance
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
