hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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