you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
