For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
