VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
