I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
