Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
