ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
