I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
