Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
