Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
