stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
