Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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