I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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