I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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