So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
