butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
