I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So squirting runs in the family.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
