Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
