She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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