once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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