Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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