who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
