It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
