I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I had to cum in my sink.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
