Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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