sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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