question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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