Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
