Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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