Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
