i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We had to coat check the pizza.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
