just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Duck Duck Cougar?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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