And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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