and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
