You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
