I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
