Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize