dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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