I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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