Do you still have your period?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I did not marry a roomba.
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