Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize