I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
