He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
