i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
