I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
