6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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