What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize