They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
