Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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