My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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