just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
